Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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