is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
