I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
