i don't like sucking hair
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
