hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
