Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
