i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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