you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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