I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
