my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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