i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
