My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
