I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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