also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You are a genius and a whore.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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