I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Randomize
