If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
As shirtless as possible
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
