How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
