It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
