so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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