Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
