There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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