Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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