I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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