maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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