once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
