if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
