I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Randomize
