so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
