So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
