I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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