Nicole vs. Life
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
