I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
