Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
