At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
