He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
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