Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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