fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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