He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I think people are normalizing furries
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
