1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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