weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
