Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
