I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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