why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
