Where did you get a picture of my penis
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I wish there were birth control emojis
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
