He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
