Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
there was a trapeze. enough said
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
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