After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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