I could have mohawked her pubes.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
