HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
