There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
